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It seems obligatory in Backpacker circles to get thoroughly trashed before, during, and especially after a tour. And since I'm immersed in this World for the time being, who am I to buck the trend?

Its a Saturday night in Alice, and there is one place to be tonight... Malankas.  When I arrive at around eight, its already buzzing with literally herds of backpackers - there are long bench tables laid out with returning tour groups gorging themselves on free pizza and cheap, cheap jugs of beer.  There are so many groups in fact that it takes five minutes of wandering to find Mattys group.

Soon after the pizza trays are cleared, the floor show begins.  The local reptile farm have brought a dozen or so snakes and lizards for us to pet.  Apparently snakes are fairly thick and blind too; we're told to stand still and wait if one is close by - rapid movement is what they look for but they get bored or forget what they were looking at if you wait for 30 seconds...  That is, except Taipans which will attack anyway and can be large enough to swallow a fully grown oriental riding a bike. 

The beers are flowing and soon the dance music kicks off. But just before, each group is asked to send up a couple of volunteers to play for prizes - jugs of beer and freebie tours are on offer.  With a little persuasion, Ruth joins me on stage and we're joined by the other groups selected victims.

The first game is 'swag swapping' - here we have to hop into a swag-bag and change clothes faster than our competitors.  Unfortunately for them, Ruth and I have already worked out what's coming and are half undressed by the time the music starts - a short thrash under the sheets and we emerge, much to the delight of our group, victorious.   I'm wearing a pair of size 12 jeans and Ruth has a pair of 38" shorts and we've won three jugs of spirits faster than you can say "dirty cross dressers".

As champions we are called to defend our position and game two involves just that - positions...  Now there are around 20 couples on the dance floor and when the music stops, we're to adopt a Karma-Sutraesque position.  Hmmm, we go for an exotic one to start and see half the couples sent off for going 'doggie'.  After this, its several blurred rounds of handstands, contorted torsos and and simulated thrusting before the crowd cheer us into second place - highly acceptable given that the couple in third place became a solo guy in the final round when his girl walked off in disgust as he completed the final scene of 'The Full Monty'.

We drink and dance into the small hours, a typical backpackers night out I'm told.  Well, I'll remember it for a while for sure!

As the night drew to a close (or not in the case of most of the partiers), we say fond farewells and happy travels.  I find a passenger for the trip to Cairns, Katia from the Black Forest and a convoy buddy, Steve.  Next stop, Queensland.

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