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As ever, we're last off the train in Kalgoorlie. And last on the town tour bus which patiently waits at the station entrance to whisk those who wish to know more about the place around its camel-train-turning-circle wide streets.

Its a warm evening and the otherwise quiet streets are now filled with the bi-weekly flood of tourists and business men seeking a little glimpse of outback life, or a brief encounter with the abundant ladies of the night.

Kalgoorlie is the capital of western Australia's goldfields - it lies on the edge of the Nullarbor and the Great Victorian deserts. Its a dry place, existing only to extract shiny nuggets from the ground and to provide 'service' industries to the same - consequently its full of overpriced rooms, hookers and bars.

Water to Kalgoorlie is pumped in from the Mundaring Dam - some 560km distant. This water is used predominately by the 'Super pit', arguably the towns most interesting feature after the 'standing stalls' of the red light area (the latter being for those who don't want to pay for a room to do their business...).

Back to the tour... our driver (Derek or Dork or something) is droning on about how wonderful the town is - its beautiful architecture, scourge of roundabouts (we count one) and sad decline as mechanisation took over from manual digging. He's award winningly boring - reading the name signs of each building, "on the right is Max's butchers, where locals can purchase meat, such as beef and pork... oh! and next door is Granthams Fruit and Veg - where locals can purchase fruit... blah blah". We chuckle but can't wait to get off.

 Dork drones on, and really gets a laugh when he talks about the town hall - "the architecture of the town hall... ooouuuhh!... its... its... it makes you tingle... .... ...well, it makes me tingle anyway" - we have visions of him salivating over 'Architect monthly'.

We stop off at the Super Pit.

Well, its a pit OK, and its pretty super - in fact its 280m deep, 4km long and 1.5km wide - its the Worlds largest open mine and will go to 600m over the next decade in the relentless pursuit of Gold!  We watch the giant trucks crawling up the hill, lit only by headlights and stadium lights which barely light one percent of the area the site covers.

Next we continue into town - passing though the red light area and passing 'Skimpy bars' - a town special where girlies behind the bar go topless and wear 'skimpy' underwear.

After the tour, we thank Dork for the interesting and enlightening tour (he looks perplexed) - and head off for a rapid frozen cocktail. Drinking these too quickly induces extreme nasal pain - we get back on the train cursing and holding our noses, no doubt giving the impression we've just got clouted by a pimp for not paying enough for a Prosie...

Onwards - to Perth!

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